What is "sugar dating", dating by interest that grows driven by the crisis

What is sugar dating dating by interest that grows driven by the crisis

I do not come to look for relationships for shameless. I know why this page . Therefore, if you want, we could meet for a day, we first seek an economic agreement and see what happens. From there…let’s find out what can happen.” This is an example of the type of messages with which Marta (fictitious name) finds herself daily on the website where she has registered and which puts sugar daddies in contact with her possible sugar babies.

These types of relationships, in which a young woman seeks financial support from a well-positioned man in exchange for company (or something else), have been around for years. However, the economic crisis derived from the pandemic has made more and more women, of all kinds of profiles, seek a solution in these agreements to be able to reach the end of the month, more as a way to get ahead than to establish a relationship. real.

Marta is a 38-year-old woman who has been out of work since September. She dedicated to the tourism sector, she joined an ERTE with the end of her contract in June and, since then, she has not had a job again. She has no other income or savings, so she has no income to live on. “I had heard about sugar daddies in some report, but I wasn’t very clear how it worked either, so I started browsing the internet and found some pages where that type of contact is established,” she explains.

“I read a lot about what is correct and what is not in this type of relationship, about how to expose what I am looking for without looking like a prostitute and how to identify those who are really sugar daddies or simply men who are looking for sex in exchange for money, “he adds. She once resolved the doubts she had about her, and seeing that she was not called for any of the selection processes to which she applied, she decided to create a profile on one of her websites.

“The truth is that I did not have high hopes because I looked a little older. In general, it is something that girls who are studying and who earn little money or want to have whims do. I did not think that after opening a profile with my real photo and age, I would receive so many messages from men willing to talk about the agreement, ”she relates.

The line that separates sugar relationships from prostitution is very blurred. The websites where this type of agreement is established, such as SugarDaddySeek, include an extensive information section where they explain what sugardating consists of. “They are not relationships of ‘I’ll give you 200 euros for doing X ‘, they are relationships of support in which an agreement is reached. The girl receives help and they go out with them as if they were her partner. Sex is something that remains apart and is an option, yes, but in which both have to be in agreement”, explains Pablo Romero, webmaster of the portal.

In our country, unlike other European countries or the United States, it is still not clear what a sugar daddy really is. “In Spain it is a concept that is not deeply rooted, although little by little there is more culture in this regard. There are many myths , since many people say that it is covert prostitution, but the truth is that it has nothing to do with it, ”clarifies the entrepreneur, who launched his website in 2017.

“It’s about a long-term relationship between a mature, financially solvent man and a girl who likes mature men. There are college girls and 25, 30 and 35-year -olds who like men of 45 and 50, and they are happy that way, just like others like hunks or hippies, ”he adds.

Marta points out that “it is important to know where the limits are” when reaching an agreement: “It is always you who decides. This is a negotiation in which the basis is not sex but respect . They offer money in exchange for a person who is available to go out to dinner, to the theater, to have a drink and even to travel, in exchange for money. Sure intimate encounters will occur, but not as long as he stays. That’s the key and what many of them tell you: ‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want’”.

Pablo Romero, who has thoroughly studied the market for sugar relationships before setting up his own social network, defines the users of these pages as “upper-middle or upper class men who work a lot, dedicate 24 hours to their business , and those who at times want to feel like people and go out with someone. Although it may not seem like it, there are many men with high purchasing power who are very lonely. But what about the girls? Are they all college girls, as people tend to think? Also read sugar daddy in Ireland.

“Usually they are young women who are students or between 25 and 30 years old, educated , who have a conversation,” explains the person in charge of SugarDaddySpain who acknowledges that, in recent months, there has been a change in the profile of girls who register on this type of website. “Yes, I have noticed a rise in the older profiles, between 30 and 35 years old. If before there were more than 25, now more enter between 35 and 40 years, or even older “. The reason is not confirmed by Romero, but he acknowledges that the pandemic has influenced this change.

That is the case of Julia (also a fictitious name), a 40-year-old woman living in Valencia, who began the adventure of being a sugar baby a few months ago. “ I have been without unemployment insurance for more than a year and the aid that I have applied for has not arrived. A friend told me about this world and although at first I felt hesitant, I ended up signing up”, she explains.

“At the moment I have two sugar daddies, one gives me 280 euros per meeting and the other 200. We go out to dinner or meet to share a good conversation. Sex does not always happen, although it is something intrinsic in the negotiation and, in the end, it ends up happening”, relates this new sugar baby, who confesses that thanks to these incomes, the only ones she receives, she can afford the rent and the shopping basket. monthly purchase. “I never thought she would end up doing this. It is inevitable, especially at the beginning, to feel that you are sleeping with someone for money and that, due to culture, makes you feel bad. But if you find a real sugar daddy, those thoughts are erased, because the relationship you establish goes further.

As Pablo Romero pointed out, in Spain there is not much culture of this type of relationship and that makes “they go more to the sack than in other countries. There are many users who are looking for sporadic relationships and the truth is that I spend the day eliminating profiles that do not fit what my website offers”. Elisa has already realized that, at 37 years old, she has signed up on another of the existing sugardating websites to find propositions of all kinds.

“Many guys have come to me asking directly what I do in bed and what I don’t, as if it were a restaurant menu,” he confesses with a laugh after having taken the odd surprise . “I have been asked from threesomes to do it in public places, and even long-term marriage. Although the one that marked me the most was the one who wanted me to insult him, hit him and leave him tied up in a hotel room while I went shopping. It sounds surreal, but it is real,” she assures.

Elisa is dedicated to the events sector and, since March 2020, and due to the pandemic, she has received almost nothing . “I’ve been pulling savings, but the money is running out, so I googled for information and found this way to get by for the time being,” she explains.

“When the pandemic began, searches in Spain for the word sugar daddy went from 15,000 to 25,000 a day ,” says Romero. “In March 2020, searches were at 17,000, in April they went to 24,000 and in May to 30,000. In the period of June, July, August and September, the average was 41,000 visits per day ”, He adds.

However, it is also true that with the existing restrictions to prevent the spread of covid, establishing sugar relationships has become more complicated. “ I have undergone several PCR to make sure I was healthy , all of them paid for by the sugars. In my case, it is paramount”, confesses Marta.

One of the key questions is in the amount of money that can be obtained with these agreements. “ It depends on what you trade ”, explains Julia. “They can pay you by appointment or a round figure per month. I usually start with appointments for which I get between 180 and 300 euros. If things flow, you end up negotiating what would be a salary. It depends on the generosity of the sugar”.

But as it happens in all types of markets, when supply increases, prices also fall. “ It is not so easy to find sugar ”, Romero points out. “Right now, there is one for every 25 candidates. People do not think that this is to arrive and find a man who takes you for a ride in his big car, this implies a lot of patience and effort. Marta, Julia and Elisa agree. “Several men have told me that many new profiles have appeared in recent months,” explains Marta. “And many of them are willing to do everything for a few euros.”